What we believe forms our personality and our personality influences our behavior and shapes our perceptions, attitudes, mood, and expectations. Our reality is what we believe it to be.
So ask yourself:
Who am I? You will probably respond with your name. But who is this person with your name? Think about it and complete the sentences below:
I am ………………………………………………………………………
I am ………………………………………………………………………
I am ………………………………………………………………………
I am ………………………………………………………………………
I am ………………………………………………………………………
I am ………………………………………………………………………
I am ………………………………………………………………………
I am ………………………………………………………………………
I am ………………………………………………………………………
I am ………………………………………………………………………
With these “I am” sentences, you are creating a characterization and everything that comes after the words “I am” comes true. So count how many positive traits you have written after “I am.” If you don’t have very many, then you are not alone; most people are quite critical of themselves.
If you stand in front of the mirror in the morning and say, “I will get wrinkles,” then you will get wrinkles. If you say, “I am too old” for this or that, then you will be too old for this or that. If you say, “I am a failure,” then you will fail more often.
I would now like to discuss the “as if” phenomenon. The “as if” phenomenon causes you to behave as if certain beliefs are right: you act as if nobody could ever love you, as if you are ugly, as if you are fat, as if everyone is better than you.
And how do you think this makes you feel? As if everything you believe is right. Do you want to be an as if person? I am always surprised by how many people wallow in their unhappiness as if they are the only people on planet Earth who are unhappy as if everyone else around them is pleased. Of course, we are all susceptible to as if thoughts, but you can fight this way of thinking; when you have an as if thought, pause for a moment and ask yourself: “How do I know that? Is there evidence that this thought is true?”
Everything we believe about ourselves becomes reality
Re-formulate your negative I’m statements
Take another look at your “I am” list. Now, try and re-formulate your negative “I am” statements so that they are more favorable.
That does not mean they have to be overly positive or perfect; they do need to be constructive.
For example, if you have written, “I am too fat,” then replace that with “I’m on my way to losing my excess fat.” If you have written, “I am ugly,” then change that to “I am attractive” or “I am beautiful in my way.” After all, you don’t need to look like Kate Moss or Heidi Klum to be attractive. Your husband, wife, boyfriend, or girlfriend find you attractive—because they find you to be the most beautiful partner for them.